Ignore the Person from Porlock
The other night while I made my rounds making sure all my kids were snug in their beds, I noticed that one of my daughters looked to be about three-inches taller than what I had remembered her to be. Also, my son’s shoulders were much broader than what seemed to be only yesterday. How did they grow up so fast? Where did the time go? I wondered where I had been not to notice these changes until that night.
I thought of what the poet Samuel Coleridge (1772-1834) wrote about his poem “Kubla Khan.” Coleridge woke after dreaming about the 13th-century Mongol warrior king and immediately set about recording the poem that came to him in his dream. Then unfortunately, he was interrupted by a person from Porlock who “detained him above an hour.” When Coleridge went back to finish the poem, he found he had only “some vague and dim recollection of the…vision.” He was never able to fully complete the poem.
That night while tucking in my daughter, I wondered what figurative person from “Porlock” interrupted me that I hadn’t noticed how tall she had grown.
How do any of us miss the things we claim are so important? A slew of surveys show that most people believe family relationships are more important than money, jobs, and, well, everything else. Yet when we look at the way we live, family often comes last.
Admittedly, many of life’s interruptions to the family can seem like good things and are hard to give up. Youth sports are good things. The Scouting program is a good thing. Summer camps, dance lessons, and club memberships are all good things. Individually, each can inspire confidence and build character in the participants. But too many good things can be bad. Then add to that the extra parental activities of overtime, yard work, coaching, and special projects. Then at some point we realize we missed something. That night while tucking in my son, I wondered when he turned into a young man.
Like Coleridge’s interruption, we can never go back and claim what we have already lost. The point is to never leave. Don’t let interruptions leave you or your family incomplete. Don’t grow old wondering where the time went or where you’ve been not to notice those things that matter.
As for me, when that person from “Porlock” comes knocking at my door, he can wait. I’ve got more important things to do.
This is an edited version of what was originally published as “Time Can Wait for the Person from Porlock” in the Spencer New Leader, October 11-17, 2000